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Hey, Whitey! Find Better Friends

Ever wonder what the token black person in those über-hip little “diverse” groups thinks about being around clueless, insensitive White people like you and me all the time? Well, wonder no longer! One of the tokens has spoken!

Crystal Sykes: “‘I’m Not Your Black Friend'”


On Being Complimented by Whites:

“- “[Fill in with something about looking ‘fierce’]” because that’s the ethnic word for “hot,” apparently.”

On life in San Francisco:

“Partying with the hipster white dudes in the Mission would start out fun, but our hangouts would end with me feeling conflicted. If these people were my friends, why did I feel so bad when I hung out with them?”

On Ironic Racial Humor:

“The thing that is hardest to explain is that these jokes are coming from a position of privilege my white friends don’t even realize they have. This social advantage is so ingrained in our culture that they aren’t aware their comments are coming off the backs of centuries’ worth of hardship and oppression. The tipping point for me was about two years ago, at a friend’s house, when I was introduced as “The Black Friend.” As my friend laughed off his statement, my heart dropped at this oversimplification of me as a person. I quickly realized that the joke was on me, and the punch line was my race. I left the party minutes later.”

On Her Terms:

“So do I still have white friends? Of course, who else is going to wait with me for an hour and a half for a table at Plow? Plus, if you’re a 20-something in the tech/start-up world, white people are hard to avoid. The only difference now is that my white friends know to check their privilege and poor humor at the door. It’s not funny if it comes at the expense of someone’s skin color or culture. And if anyone thinks otherwise, in the words of Queen Bey, “To the left, to the left.” “


Wow. What an honest and revealing article.

You see, Whitey, you are an aggrievement generator, no matter what kind of hipster utopia you live in and no matter what kind of “Diversity=Strength” bullshit you have been trained to believe at your liberal arts re-education camp. No matter what you do, how “cool” you try to be, how sensitive, how inclusive, how encouraging, how loving, how complimentary, you are just a big, walking blob of oppression and privilege and racism. Read it again. I’ll wait.

Oh, they’ll tolerate you if they have to. After all, “white people are hard to avoid”; but all your ass-kissing will never make people like Ms. Sykes one of you or you one of  her.

Diversity + proximity= conflict. Always and everywhere. Read it one more time–note the tone– and think about it.


  1. Yes, they really need to be in their own country among their own kind so their feelings wont get hurt and they wont feel oppressed.
    Last time I checked Africa was still available!!

  2. Reblogged this on murderbymedia and commented:
    Even the magic ones like to bitch!

  3. DjangoTango says:

    Hey if you are a minority in a country than you should expect this kind of thing, otherwise beat it. If you live in Nigeria and are white, if a black guy introduces you as a ‘white’ friend, should you feel butt hurt? If yes, then 1)you’re a pussy 2)leave. Enough whining.

  4. Art says:

    It’s obvious that they will have to exterminate every white to spare their feelings. Actually, the negro is very psychotic by nature; to feel better they have to project their own bad feelings on others. Projection works for a while, but at the core they are still very angry at Whites.

    Even if they got their way, after “da crackas” had been all killed, as the negro slipped back into a cesspool of Africa/Haitian bliss, he would have to find a another villain.

    So it is the deeply rooted psychosis in the negro psyche that will never allow peace, and they also have a hateful disrespect for us because we’re so fucking nice.

    It’s a lose-lose situation. Ship them back to Africa, then blow up every port and airport so they can’t leave “da muddaland.”

    • Well. That’s an intense sentiment. But I have a policy of always approving comments. So…I don’t completely agree, but I do believe blacks hate Whites more than Whites realize or the media can admit.

  5. Art says:

    well part of my coments come from many experiences with negroes and listening to their rhetoric. but i had the mis-fortune of having a couple mof magic negro friends. the comments about the negro having an ingrained psychotic state comes in part from the mouths of my 2 black friends years ago. for some reasoin they trusted me more than their black friends, actually claimed their black friends and families were losers, but i always had a suspicion there was buttering up encased in their sweet talking to me

    both told me that from the age of 2 they were browbeaten that all crackas must be killed with extreme hared that teh world would never be a kond place until all whites were murdered. they told me that their parents taughht them based on their parents being taugyht the same from grandparents.

    both guys i knew are now long dead, heart attack (drug abuse) and aids

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